What Rugby Has Given Arthur

There’s something nobody really tells you as a parent in grassroots rugby.

Sometimes the biggest battles aren’t the tackles, the weather, or the scoreline.

Sometimes the biggest battle is focus.

Recently, Arthur was diagnosed with ADHD, and if I’m honest, sitting through the assessment felt strangely familiar. A lot of the things being described sounded just like him… but also a lot like me growing up too.

For a long time, we couldn’t always understand why some days everything clicked for him, and other days absolutely nothing would.

Because when Arthur is focused, confident, and emotionally locked in, he’s unbelievable to watch.

The energy, aggression, passion, and competitiveness he brings to the game can completely change a match. He flies into tackles, works nonstop, talks constantly, and throws himself into every moment like it actually matters.

Because to him, it does matter.

But then there are other days.

Days where frustration creeps in early.

Days where one mistake becomes five.

Days where concentration disappears completely.

Days where emotions become bigger than the game itself.

And as a parent, it can sometimes feel like you genuinely don’t know which version of your child is going to step onto the pitch that morning.

That can be hard for them.

And hard for you.

What I think people sometimes misunderstand about ADHD is that it isn’t simply “not paying attention.”

For Arthur, it can mean:

• struggling to regulate emotions
• overthinking mistakes
• losing focus when things aren’t constantly engaging
• becoming frustrated quickly
• finding it difficult to reset mentally after something goes wrong

But at the exact same time, those very same traits can also create:

• intensity
• energy
• passion
• fearlessness
• creativity
• competitiveness
• resilience

And rugby has become one of the best outlets possible for all of it.

The structure.
The teamwork.
The routines.
The physicality.
The belonging.
The responsibility to others.

It gives him somewhere to channel everything that’s constantly moving around in his head.

Over the last couple of seasons we’ve seen huge growth, especially emotionally.

When he first started rugby midway through the U9 season, frustration could completely take over him if things weren’t going his way. But this season has honestly felt different.

He’s matured massively.

He’s learning how to channel those emotions instead of letting them control him.

Not perfectly. Nobody does.

But better.

And that’s all any parent can ask for.

One of my favourite parts of rugby now actually happens before we even arrive at the pitch.

The car journey.

We talk through the game.
What to focus on.
What to improve.
What to try.
How to respond when things go wrong.
How important attitude and effort are.

Sometimes those conversations last five minutes.

Sometimes they last the whole drive.

Then we get there early, and before anyone else arrives he’s already throwing a rugby ball around or running through drills like the game started an hour ago.

That’s the version people don’t always see.

The version constantly trying.

The version that cares deeply.

The version that wants to improve more than anything.

Grassroots rugby has given Arthur confidence, friendships, discipline, and somewhere he feels he belongs. And honestly, I think that’s far more important than tries scored or games won.

ADHD doesn’t define him.

It’s just part of who he is.

Some days he’ll be unstoppable.
Some days he’ll struggle.
Some days he’ll frustrate himself more than anybody else ever could.

But one thing is guaranteed.

He’ll keep turning up.

And so will we. 🏉